The best trick i usually do is to call 10210, then push 2 for new customer, and then you get through instantly. Make as though you through to the wrong department and tell ur whole sob story to the "impecibally trained staff" and most likely they'll help you straight away.
Although I have to say having been through the process a few times this year, Telkom call-back has been amazing, you phone telkom at 10:00, the voice prompter estimates like 18 minutes of waiting, u say call-back and tell it to call you back on your cell, and at within the hour, that call does come through.
At least the system works, not as well as it should, but appreciate that there are hundreds of thousands if not millions of customers for them to deal with so cudos for having a working system, it's alot better than some of the other service providers (non communications-based)