Existence of Soul mates

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Do you believe in soul mates? What makes you believe that? (if you do)

Plural, not singular. Could be a life partner or just friends.

And do you think a person is meant to be alone, or are there specific people that they'll just meet during their life that will stick around regardless of what type of person you're perceived to be by everyone else?

My opinion is that it's okay to be alone. I haven't run into anyone that I consider my soul mate even though I have a best friend I'll take a bullet for and I'm sure he would for me. But we don't hang out or chat constantly. In fact I see him maybe once or twice a year and talk to him several times, with weeks/months spanning in between.

I also kind of like my solitude, but I often wonder if it's meant to be this way or if it's just something I convinced myself of. It's partly why I want to convert (different thread, different section), but am confuddled at the idea of being a part of a community that actually wants me around.
 
I believe that people meet up with other people and either connect or don't. Nobody is "meant" to be alone or "meant" to be together. It just is or isn't.

Some are comfortable with the idea of going through life as a loner without friends or a partner. Others just cannot be alone and they need that feeling of belonging and togetherness. It has been said that ALL people must "belong", but certain individuals thrive on their independent nature and that is their home.
 
Something that always bothers me of society in general is that, one minute you're considered a soul mate/best friend, but the next, you are absolutely nothing. Fickle. And one of the many reasons I prefer being on my own.
 
addendum to OP:
if you believe in a soul mate (and your current SO is your soul mate)
would you bother looking to have another relationship if your current soul mate were to die?
 
Here is my soul mate.

h3ojpvg.jpg
 
If you are going to entertain ideas like soul mates, then we first need to know what a soul is.

AcidRaZor said:
Do you believe in soul mates? What makes you believe that? (if you do)

Plural, not singular. Could be a life partner or just friends.

And do you think a person is meant to be alone, or are there specific people that they'll just meet during their life that will stick around regardless of what type of person you're perceived to be by everyone else?

My opinion is that it's okay to be alone. I haven't run into anyone that I consider my soul mate even though I have a best friend I'll take a bullet for and I'm sure he would for me. But we don't hang out or chat constantly. In fact I see him maybe once or twice a year and talk to him several times, with weeks/months spanning in between.

I also kind of like my solitude, but I often wonder if it's meant to be this way or if it's just something I convinced myself of. It's partly why I want to convert (different thread, different section), but am confuddled at the idea of being a part of a community that actually wants me around.
Click to expand...
 
I thought you had a gf? You mentioned in the conversion thread that you were seeing a Jewish girl?
 
Pr⊕phet said:
If you are going to entertain ideas like soul mates, then we first need to know what a soul is.
Click to expand...

Good point.
I'm not sure whether he intended to go that deep though. Soul mates are one of those terms that are bandied about without a clear understanding of what they are supposed to be.

Soul mates....hmmmm.
I dont believe in a soul. I do accept though that we are able to have connections with various people on various levels.
I would consider my "soulmate" to be someone that I have a complete connection with. A complete understanding. An unconditional relationship with unconditional love. This love might or might not be based on sex or relationship or it might just be a deep friendship.

I do think that you could have various "soul mates".
 
AcidRaZor said:
Something that always bothers me of society in general is that, one minute you're considered a soul mate/best friend, but the next, you are absolutely nothing. Fickle. And one of the many reasons I prefer being on my own.
Click to expand...

That's precisely it. I've seen many people going on about how X or Y is their soulmate, they were made for each other, bla bla bla romantic nonsense, and then a few years later when they break up, suddenly that person is the scum of the earth. There's no such thing as pre-destiny, or unconditional love. Everyone has their deal-breakers, it's just not always obvious.
 
TJ99 said:
That's precisely it. I've seen many people going on about how X or Y is their soulmate, they were made for each other, bla bla bla romantic nonsense, and then a few years later when they break up, suddenly that person is the scum of the earth. There's no such thing as pre-destiny, or unconditional love. Everyone has their deal-breakers, it's just not always obvious.
Click to expand...

Well, at the beginning of a love affair our brains seem to be very good at over looking and/or rationalising our partners faults. Basically the good feelings and excitement just swamp our misgivings. It's not unconditional love but it's something approaching it. Obviously, if your lover shot your cat for no reason that would be a deal breaker but there's no reason why two sane, rational people can't maintain a sense of "unconditional" love if they both make the commitment to always value the other as much as they value each themselves and treat each other well.

As for soul mates, no. The implications of the concept are to out there to believe. One we would need souls and two there would need to be some agency deciding who should be with who.
We all have a conscious or unconscious list of things that we find attractive in other people. When we meet someone who fulfils enough of that criteria to make us want to be with them we can only hope that we fulfil enough of their criteria to feel the same way about us. Somewhere along the line we have to accept that that person is incapable of fulfilling all our criteria but that they fulfil enough that we will tolerate their "imperfections".

That feeling that someone is perfect for you is just your brain blinding you to their "imperfections" long enough that you can make a baby with them and ensure it's survival. If you want something lasting you'll have to make a commitment to be unselfish enough to 1.) not shoot their cat and 2.) not hold them to an impossible standard of perfection.


Or something like that.
 
abzo said:
I thought you had a gf? You mentioned in the conversion thread that you were seeing a Jewish girl?
Click to expand...

Past tense unfortunately. I said something about her hair on one of her "I feel fat and ugly, no random boys come up to me and hit on me" days, so she may see that there's things she can do if she wants to attract other men (things I thought other men would find attractive) and she found it so offensive that she ended things. Apparently I'm a repulsive ******* pig now.

But whatever.

I was actually using the term soul mate as something that can be used as a romantic relationship or friendship. Not just "we gonna ****, now lets go **** someone else...yeehaw SOUL MATES!"

Thanks for the input though. I believe in a soul. I kind of think I have one... it's probably hidden deep deep down somewhere. The Grinch' heart shrunk again. ****ing n00b
 
Oh and for the record, I'm still converting. That has no barometer in what happened
 
I didnt use to but I do believe in soul mates now .Just dont want to meet mine. If she is anything like me we will probably just end up killing each other
 
I'm not certain I believe in "Soul Mates". I used to when i was younger but it didnt quite work out :) I do believe that there are people in the world that we're compatible with, no matter how freakishly weird and different you think you might be - there is someone out there of the opposite sex that is the same....not exactly the same, but very similair. There also isnt just "1" of them.....there are maybe several thousand....and if you happen to bump into one of them and get to know them, you may be inclined to think you've met your soul mate.

You could probably liken it to a cult - that thinks UFO's are going to come and take them away when the clock strikes midnight on 20 December 2012. Sounds outrageous but they are out there, and can identify with each other because they share a common (but generally very uncommon) belief/view. Whereas your best friend would think you are nuts, but still be your friend. And perhaps thats part of the difference your alluding to.

You also just cant "choose" your personality. You cant say you just "chose" to be someone who seeks or enjoys solitude. I'd say its more the result of your experiences over a long period of time, or at the least the result of a few very specific powerful experiences that influenced how you see the wider world. You responsed to those experiences by going down the "i like to be alone" branch of the fork in the road, which in itself probably forked a couple of times until you got to where you are now. And your choices were maybe influenced by external factors too.

Likewise, you'll never just "choose" to be a different person, or one who is part of a community - you wont just wake up one day and that'll be that. Even if you convert to whatever you're converting to and decide that you want to change who you are now, it will take alot of time and concerted effort. Alot of consistently pushing yourself to take one avenue over another. You will have to identify what influences your decision making and whether those are good or bad in terms of where you want to go.

Your reality is what you make of it. If you want to believe in soul mates then do so, and in your world they will exist and you will find oen. Or dont, and in your world, they wont. Or be an open-minded skeptic, and see if any of your future experiences alter your outlook in any way :). There is no "meant to be". Its what you make of it.

Whether you believe in a higher power, or not, in life you'll have opportunities and the chance to do something. Whether you take one opportunity or another, or neither, or create your own, is up to you.

It's like saying did a god bring 2 people together. Maybe, maybe not. All thats certain is that at some point, there was a choice to make - engage, dont engage - with another person. You chose one choice over another and what happened afterwards is as the result of that choice and probably an element of randomness.

It's like saying "am I meant to die by truck-strike". Well, depends on what opportunity you pick - the one to step into the road, or the one to stay on the pavement. Crude example but illustrated my thoughts

tldr
 
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